Our last puzzle together                      

It's been a while since I have written in my blog. Although I enjoy writing in my blog there are times when it is exhausting to think about. I am also questioning my intentions and purpose of this blog.  When I first began writing parentingcelebrtingthesmallsteps I was drawing on my experience as a mother to my daughter, Meghann. When Meghann passed, a part of me died with her. I know it changed me. This loss has left me with an erasable mark, reshaping my perspectives, priorities, and emotions. I have continued over the past 5 years to navigate through my grieving process. I have learned that everyone travels through their own unique path at their own pace, with no definitive timeline for healing. 

 

I have struggled to live my life without Meghann. I manage to put a smile on my face and act as if everything is okay.  When you lose someone, especially a child you begin to question things in life. Losing a child has challenged my belief, values, and purpose in life. I have tried to reevaluate my priorities and work on my own personal growth as I heal and learn to live without my only child. 

During this grieving time, I am proud to say that I have been seeing a therapist to work through the heartbreaking loss of losing Meghann along with other issues. While I realize the pain will never disappear entirely, I have tried to learn to integrate the grief into my life. I am trying to find those moments of joy within the sorrow. One of those joys is listening to my sister's children talk about the fun times with Meghann. Another one is laughing with my sister’s funny stories about our times with our kids. 

Part of my personal growth-

 I will graduate with my bachelor’s degree in general studies with a minor in Sociology in December. Graduating with honors after suffering through losing Meghann and other personal physical health challenges is a goal, I am very proud of achieving. I will continue to write children's books about Meghann (Meggeriffic) to advocate and raise awareness for the special need’s population. 

Keeping my mind occupied has worked for me to navigate my grief over the last few years. It was obviously the right thing for me because I have written 4 children's books, and I was honored to have my short story chosen to be my published in the Elements magazine at Western Illinois University. 

Whether or not someone agrees with my way of grieving is not relevant to me. Until you experience the loss of a child don’t pretend you know how it feels or tell someone else how they should grieve. 

I hope the Meggeriffic books will provide a learning tool for parents and caregivers to open up a dialogue about treating all people kind. 

If you know of any classroom that would like me to visit their room and read one of my books I would be happy to do it for them. I will be working on setting up some times to visit libraries soon. All of my books are available on Amazon. Meggeriffic will get you to the books for sale or use the link below. 

amazon.com/author/jillmaglioryan 

Check out Meggeriffic Facebook page and follow to keep up to date on upcoming events.

Thank you for making my passion come to life by purchasing books and all the donations everyone has made to libraries, classrooms, and nonprofits.

Jill Maglio Ryan

815-866-3776

jillianm1963@hotmail.com