I never thought the anticipation of Meghann’s upcoming birthday would be so painful. It's been three years since Meghann passed away. I still find myself in tears when something reminds me of her. It may be as simple as hearing kids splashing in a pool or seeing a picture on facebook of a back to school picture. Recently I was shopping with my step-daughter, Brittney and every place we went there were Mickey and Minnie mouse items. It was a reminder of all the Mickey and Minnie mouse things I used to buy for Meghann. She loved anything that had either character on it.
To say Meghann loved her birthday would be an understatement. The day was all about
her and isn’t that what most of us want on our birthday. I never said she wasn't a little
spoiled. Spoiled in a good way!! If that is possible. She would start talking about her
birthday as soon as she was finished with school for the year. She knew she had a summer
birthday.After she graduated high school she managed to figure out when to begin talking
about her birthday a few months before her June 27th day. Even on her last days on earth
as sick as she was laying in her hospital bed she would whisper in a voice horse from the
ventilator tube being inserted and removed several times, about her upcoming birthday.
I didn’t mind promising her several times a day we would have a big party to celebrate her
birthday when she got out of the hospital. She would try each time to give me a half smile
with a quiet “yeah.” Each time she mentioned her birthday the crack in my heart would
spread a little bigger. I had hope that Meghann would heal from the gall bladder surgery
and even make it through the pancreatitis to celebrate another birthday with me. I couldn’t
imagine living my life without my baby. Sadly there are only heavenly birthdays left for
Meghann.
I thought about or should I say dreaded Meghann’s upcoming birthday this past June.
After reflecting on the upcoming date of June 27th I slowly began to change my mindset
about the day. What could I do to honor or celebrate Meghann’s day? I had to do something to
not only make it through the day myself but something that would have an impact on somebody
in my community. I began to brainstorm my plan for the day.
There were a couple of things I needed for this day. I needed an act of kindness to spread, a
friend who would join in either laughing or crying with me, and something to share that
Meghann loved.
The golden arches popped into my head!!
There was one thing I knew about Meghann. Ever since my grandma introduced her to fish
sandwiches at McDonalds that is all she wanted when we passed a restaurant. Gift cards
would work for spreading kindness. All I was left with was who would make this day
memorable?I have a lot of friends who would of loved to join me for the day including
my husband. However I thought about what I needed, not what everyone else would want.
This was a difficult task for me. The only person who I thought would be up for the task was
my good friend, Marie. After all, what better person to understand me on this day than a mother
who has a son, Finn who has a diagnosis of autism. Moms with special needs kids know what
I am talking about when I say I needed a mom who was in my circle.
I bought a handful of gift cards from McDonalds and Dairy Queen. I tied up individual
baggies with pink ribbon. Then I filled each one with a gift card along with some other goodies.
I loaded my car in the early morning on June 27th.
This is Marie and me in my car with a basket full of gifts. Ready to spread kindness
at the local parks in Kewanee.
We ran around tying bags to the playground equipment. Of course, leaving one on the
wheelchair accessible swing. Then we took off for the other park and tied gift cards all over the playground equipment.
I couldn’t complete the day without returning to Sheffield where I raised Meghann.
We proceeded to tie more gift bags around the park in Sheffield making sure we left
one at the new wheelchair accessible swing.
We ran into four young kids playing at the park and we hand delivered them
each a goodie bag. They were very excited to see a McDonalds card in the bag.
The day wouldn’t be complete without a stop out at the cemetery to visit
Meghann’s grave. We put balloons, flowers, and confetti all over Megahnn’s
grave.
After decorating Marie and I shared an Oreo cookie dessert for Meghann. She loved
her oreo’s !!!
At first I was not going to share this day on my blog. It has taken me a couple of months
to think about it. The one thing I do not want is praise for spreading kindness on Meghann’s
birthday. I wanted to share this day with you because I didn’t lay in bed all day and cry. I got
up and made Meghann’s day a positive day for me just like the day she was born over 30
years ago. Her birthday is always a difficult day for me. No more!! It's time to celebrate
Meghann’s birth and her life. It may be without her physically but that doesn’t mean I can’t
celebrate it. I hope this blog will help everyone realize it's okay to celebrate our loved ones'
birthdays after they are gone. I for one plan on celebrating Meghann’s birthday every year.
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