I won! Or did I?

With the sick feeling still in the pit of my stomach I slowly picked up the phone and dialed the doctor’s office. I left a message for the nurse to call me back and went about my day. Every time I heard the phone ring my heart jumped.  I wasn’t sure I wanted to pick up the phone and talk to the nurse. I think I knew in my heart that this conversation could change everything. I was making myself sick with worry  and I needed it to end one way or another.

At the end of the day the nurse called me back.  During this conversation, the nurse asked if Meghann was doing a series of developmental milestones. Many of her milestones were on target. The nurse assured me that as long as Meghann was within the  milestones guideline for babies everything was fine. I replied to her that it wasn’t the developmental milestones that worried me. What really concerned me was how Meghann wasn’t  holding her head up as well as babies several months younger.  I explained to the nurse repeatedly how this concerned me. She was beginning to make me feel somewhat guilty for trying to convince her that something was wrong. She continued to dismiss me like a child who was bothering her during an important phone call.

I presented my reasons for concern as if I was in front of a judge pleading for mercy. She finally gave into this new mother. Perhaps because it was the end of the day and she wanted to get home or she became tired of listening to me. It didn’t matter to me what the reason was at this point. I had an appointment for the next day. I was relieved but, I was also scared out of my mind to what I might find out at this appointment. I won my case! Or did I?