Thursday, December 22, 2016

It's the most wonderful time of the year? Isn't it?

I listened to Andy Williams sing this song today. 

It’s the most wonderful time of the year
Meghann and Santa
With the kids jingle belling
And everyone telling you be of good cheer
It's the most wonderful time of the year




 Is it the most wonderful time of the year.

 Celebrating Christmas can be joyous and depressing for many people. The loss of loved ones, temptations of addictions such as food, alcohol and drugs. Anxiety and depression are also common during the holiday season.
Are you one of those people? If you are thinking of a family member or asituation that you will deal with this holiday season your not alone. There was a time when Meghann was growing up that I did not look forward to family gatherings. As soon as we walked out the door of our accessible bubble called home there were obstacles every where. It was like the we were competing on the television show Survivor. We were jumping hurdles and maneuvering through the obstacle course of an inaccessible home we had to visit. Except in our case there was no million dollar prize at the end.
Have you ever felt like staying in your bubble because it was too cold or too hot to go outside? Or did you ever want to skip a day of work because you didn’t want to drive in the snow, rain, sleet or fog? This is how I felt while Meghann was growing up. It was always hard to get her wheelchair into family and friends houses. I did not want to venture out with Meghann when the holiday parties and dinners began. Spending the holidays were much easier with my family because they all came to us. The trade off was that I did all of the cooking. Even though I had to host my side of the family it was the in-law side the hurdles continued to increase for us. Each year I would put on my usual brave face and forge ahead over the hurdles of leaving our accessible bubble.

Hurdle one. I would load Meghann up with enough diapers and medicine to head to my former in-laws. Hurdle two. I had to pack enough puzzles and coloring books to last for several hours because Meghann was stuck sitting on my lap all day. When all of her cousins were learning to walk and run Meghann was a permanent fixture on my lap. Sitting on the floor was not an option with a large group of people.
Hurdle three. As the years went by the kids grew, and they would go outside to play. After dressing and undressing Meghann to keep up with everyone my solution was to sit by the window with Meghann. This seem to work. I think she grew just as tired as I did on the task of getting on and off all pf the warm clothes.
Hurdle four. When Meghann finally grew enough to be fitted for her first wheelchair the kids had moved onto things outside to quick for Meghann and myself to keep up. I became a bystander and commentator for the activities going on outside for Meghann. We would sit by the window, and Meghann would point out at her cousins. I would describe what was happening. It turned into a fun game for both of us.
Hurdle five. When the kids did come inside they all headed to the basement to play without Meghann again. There was no way to get a wheelchair down the basement stairs. Meghann would again be stuck with me. I tried to keep her a part of the cousins activities each holiday even though the kids would eventually stop talking to Meghann altogether with the exception of a couple. That was heartbreaking for me to watch. It was like witnessing your child being picked on and not being able to stop it. Eventually the day would be over, and I would be blissful to be at the finish line. “Sigh”
I feel I did my best preparing myself and Meghann so we would not feel isolated each year at Christmas. Those days are long gone. However when I reflect back I believe I did a great job making sure it was the most wonderful time of the year for us.
Merry Christmas !