Learning to Celebrate the Small Steps. : Success or Not

Success or Not

Losing a child is an unimaginable heartache that shatters families and leaves a void that feels impossible to fill. When my daughter, Meghann passed away, the world appeared dim, and the journey through grief was endless. It came in waves and sometimes those waves hit when I least expected it.

Grief is a complex emotional response that manifests differently for everyone. And nobody should tell you how you should grieve. It’s essential to understand that feeling a wide range of emotions—sadness, anger, confusion, guilt—is completely normal. Although my brain knew all this to be true, taking the first step toward healing has continued to be baby steps for me.

When I decided to write a children’s book based on Meghann, I found myself experiencing all those complex emotions bubbling up.

Then something unforeseen happened. When I sat down at my computer and started writing it transformed my sorrow into an unexpected positive and sometimes therapeutic session. Each time I began to dig into my memories for material I would see the words typed through tear-soaked eyes. But this time the tears were not sad ones filling my eyes. They were tears of happy memories. The despair I had been feeling for so long was replaced with trying to honor Meghann’s memory through my books.

Part of my idea to get my books out to the public was to participate in Author Fairs at local libraries.

Saturday, I spent the day in Sterling Il at an Author’s Book Fair. As I finished up for the day, I reflected on the how the day played out. Did I sell a bunch of books? Is selling books how I was going to measure my success for the day?

I met some talented authors and a staff that did an amazing job that day.

Most importantly as I shared my story, people started to share their own stories. I heard from teachers, parents and children of teachers, people who knew individuals with different abilities, and people who loved to read. Of course, there were a few children who just wanted stickers and free candy. As I passed out stickers to one of those children, he asked me a few questions about Meghann and what my books were about. That little boy was one of the highlights of my day.

Do you think my day was successful?