Time heals all wounds
Does time heal all wounds or do we just learn to accept the pain and go on?
When my daughter Meghann was diagnosed with cerebral palsy I felt as if
I joined a special club. The club for parents who have children diagnosed
with special needs. It was a group I never planned or asked to join. However
once I was in the club I never wanted to leave. I was welcomed into a world
with awesome therapists and teachers. They worked with special needs children
with a passion I had never witnessed any where. I was fortunate to meet parents of
special needs children at a support group meeting where I learned quickly how
valuable is was to spend time with this group. We compared doctors, discussed
therapy, medicine, shared our struggles, helped find solutions, and searched
alternative education. This group helped Meghann, and I realize the importance
of working at our own pace and celebrating our accomplishments.
And we did celebrate Meghann’s milestones regardless if they were age appropriate
or not. When Meghann started saying mommy it was one of the happiest days of
my life even though she always repeated several times as if it was the chorus to
a song she was singing.
Meghann may not have been
perfect by society's standard but
as far as I was concerned she
was perfect, and I loved being
her mom. I never wished for her
to be anything but happy in her
life.
I believe she did live her life to
the fullest with love in her heart
for everyone in her path.
On May 24, 2018 I joined a new group. This was a group I never planned or asked to join. Today I am in the group of parents who have a child that died. Meghann was my only child. She was 30 years old. When I lost her a part of me died with her. I will never hear Meghann’s sweet voice repeatedly chant I love mommy, I love mommy, I love mommy. I will never sit with her and complete a puzzle. I will never spend those aggravating moments waiting for Meghann to choose a puzzle out of the fully stacked closet. We will never play UNO or any other game. I will never feel her strong arms wrap around me for a big hug or the sloppy kisses she planted on me with those hugs.
How does life go on ?
I am sure in time I will learn to live without Meghann
or perhaps I will accept living life without her. For now,
I think about her every day, and I have not made it
through a day without crying. I am okay with the tears
for each drop represents a memory of my little girl and
her time on earth with me. Each day I get up and go
through the motions of life trying to cherish my
memories, pictures, and the kind words of those
who loved Meghann.
Meghann is not a bodily present in my world but I carry her
each day in my heart. Everywhere I go I see things that
remind me of her such as a puzzle piece on the floor,
a crayon stuck in between a couch cushion or a stroll
through a department store with displays of Mickey and
Minnie mouse. All these chance sightings bring a smile
to my face knowing how much Meghann loved them.
It also reminds me of her ever presence in my life forever.
Gone from earth.....
Reunited with Mother
The online support group meeting for parents of special needs children and adults is postponed
until further notice.
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